dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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