I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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