he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
