idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
