Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
