Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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