Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
