Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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