So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
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