Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
