I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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