she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
