Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
