After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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