you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
