I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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