Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
