I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize