Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
