i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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