we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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