I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
