just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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