i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
