I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
