There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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