it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
