Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
