Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
