How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
