Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
