we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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