i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
