this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
