did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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