I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
