She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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