does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
