I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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