Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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