I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
