It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
