OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize