I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Houston, we have a squirter
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
