Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
