question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
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I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
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To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm like, not good at living.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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