I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
this hospital has no fireball
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
