Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
