I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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