I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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