if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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