Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize