if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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