It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
