STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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