My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
