oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
