with your own penis?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
A bitchslap is in order.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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