I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
