Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...

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(514): I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits... http://tfl.nu/tjcr

Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (1799)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.

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(816): I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins. http://tfl.nu/76g5

Replies (8) Good night (3038) Bad night (554)
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(519): View more from Ontario

so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?

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(519): so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out? http://tfl.nu/i75k

Replies (15) Good night (2300) Bad night (687)
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(631): View more from New York

i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon

(1-631): View more from New York

been there done that

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(631): i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon (1-631): been there done that http://tfl.nu/mjyl

Replies (13) Good night (2359) Bad night (793)
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(614): View more from Ohio

so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

(740): View more from Ohio

i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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(614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2

Replies (83) Good night (34401) Bad night (1639)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

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(720): You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger. http://tfl.nu/3qkv

Replies (90) Good night (1834) Bad night (12939)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.

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(309): Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary. http://tfl.nu/11rw

Replies (15) Good night (3766) Bad night (1066)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.

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(973): there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it. http://tfl.nu/9xxm

Replies (8) Good night (2839) Bad night (1685)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I demand visitation hours with the duck.

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(602): I demand visitation hours with the duck. http://tfl.nu/cyd2

Replies (10) Good night (4341) Bad night (1057)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.

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(719): I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/q96h

Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (707)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day

(617): View more from Massachusetts

How about a mike?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Already had two of those

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(978): I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day (617): How about a mike? (978): Already had two of those http://tfl.nu/wf5g

Replies (4) Good night (1612) Bad night (710)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.

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(603): whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card. http://tfl.nu/d7h9

Replies (6) Good night (2713) Bad night (518)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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(405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp

Replies (6) Good night (1191) Bad night (307)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.

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(413): He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/kvnn

Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (256)
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(571): View more from Virginia

My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it

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(571): My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it http://tfl.nu/xr2p

Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (578)

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