its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
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Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?