Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.

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  (201): remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal. http://tfl.nu/yu6k
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (543)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  addddeeerrraaaallll.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.

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  (319): addddeeerrraaaallll. (641): ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/xlcd
  Replies (14) Good night (1534) Bad night (566)
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  (858): View more from California

  I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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  (858): I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street. http://tfl.nu/fk7f
  Replies (35) Good night (8530) Bad night (755)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.

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  (970): I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment. http://tfl.nu/cc9w
  Replies (9) Good night (3807) Bad night (1206)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

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  (706): just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was. http://tfl.nu/tfbm
  Replies (5) Good night (646) Bad night (1745)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.

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  (215): We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug. http://tfl.nu/3xa9
  Replies (9) Good night (2221) Bad night (1166)
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  (631): View more from New York

  youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful

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  (631): youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful http://tfl.nu/kqdo
  Replies (11) Good night (3115) Bad night (633)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?

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  (405): Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card? http://tfl.nu/2f9h
  Replies (8) Good night (1768) Bad night (959)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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  (902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su
  Replies (4) Good night (1851) Bad night (568)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

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  (440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire. http://tfl.nu/vw34
  Replies (11) Good night (3145) Bad night (783)
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  (714): View more from California

  When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong

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  (714): When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong http://tfl.nu/jidy
  Replies (5) Good night (466) Bad night (1451)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.

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  (907): I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks. http://tfl.nu/ytg5
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (452)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.

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  (202): She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning. http://tfl.nu/4ygc
  Replies (9) Good night (1264) Bad night (635)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.

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  (716): I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jnx6
  Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (196)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???

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  (905): Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball??? http://tfl.nu/u0wc
  Replies (4) Good night (548) Bad night (282)

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