So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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