lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
